In this episode, The Married Counselors, Ron and Lexie Lee, talk about how to improve your relationship by learning steps to build your partner up. Many of us tend to focus on the negative and point out our partner’s shortcomings. Ron and Lexie use humor and their psychology training to show 5 steps to focusing on the positive.
1. Recognize your thoughts and be intentional about focusing on what is admirable about your spouse.
2. Timing is everything. Schedule tough discussions around times that are more conducive to working toward solution. Set a time limit on how long to discuss something, such as 15 minutes. Be willing to take a time-out and come back to the topic later. Determine when you will come back to the discussion and follow-through.
3. The course of the conflict is not determined by the person who initiates the conversation. How you respond determines the course.
4. Paraphrase what your spouse is saying so that they feel heard. Use body language that feeds calm and does not feed the anxiety or anger.
5. Pray together.