Episode 8 Controlling Emotions in the Moment
Last episode The Married Counselors talked about How to Have a Better Reaction. This week we continue to discuss the idea of controlling your emotions with a focus on how to control emotions in the moment.
7 Steps to Controlling Emotions in the Moment
- Label emotion- Name it to tame it. When we are able to label how we feel, we take control of the emotion instead of the emotion controlling us.
- Recognize that although we don’t choose how we feel, the emotion comes from somewhere. It is triggered by some event or words that we hear. This is another way of saying that we have feelings for a reason.
- Identify the thoughts you are having (what’s in your mind). Are they positive versus negative? What is your intention?
- Write down evidence that supports or contradicts emotions felt. Include what is true about the thoughts you are thinking and what is not true.
- Can you look at it in a different way? Change your perspective if you can and even debate both sides of the argument.
- Consider your options in how to react.
- Do nothing
- Do the opposite
- Leave (take a time out)
- Make a choice- Who do you want to be? Once you know who you want to be when you control emotions, then you can take actions to begin acting like you are already there. We call this “fake it til you make it.”
Remember the Indian folktale about the two wolves and how the wolf that wins is the one you feed. The same could be said with how you control your emotions. What are you feeding?
How do you control emotions in the moment? Tell us in the comments.